


It's Cold

by httpsawesome



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Antisemitism, Jewish Bucky Barnes, Jewish Slur mention, M/M, No Beta, PTSD, Sam Wilson is a bro, Slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-27 04:24:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5033635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/httpsawesome/pseuds/httpsawesome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chills follow Steve throughout all of his life. That doesn't mean he always has the same reaction to it. </p><p>His mom works long hours so she can afford heating, and please Mr. Stone I know I don't have the money this month but my youngest son has asthma and the cold bothers his lungs. He's only ten years old please don't turn off the heating just yet I can pay you the coverage after tonight's shift I just -</p><p>His mom works most of the time, and because of that they usually are alright, money-wise. She was just so sick one day that she couldn't work, you see. She didn't have the energy to get dressed and collapsed right on the ground and her poor son had to help her to bed.</p><p>I just missed one day Mr. Stone I just need one day and I'll pay -</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Cold

It's cold and he's not used to it.

His mom works long hours so she can afford heating, and please Mr. Stone I know I don't have the money this month but my youngest son has asthma and the cold bothers his lungs. He's only ten years old please don't turn off the heating just yet I can pay you the coverage after tonight's shift I just -

His mom works most of the time, and because of that they usually are alright, money-wise. She was just so sick one day that she couldn't work, you see. She didn't have the energy to get dressed and collapsed right on the ground and her poor son had to help her to bed.

I just missed one day Mr. Stone I just need one day and I'll pay -

He wasn't used to the cold, but he'll survive. 

 

 

It's cold and he's used to it.

He's nineteen now and his mom has been buried for almost seven years to the day. He's learned to get by on his own, but having Bucky around is always helpful. He can get by without Bucky, he knows it. Somedays he feels like he doesn't even need to prove it. Those days are when it's warm and he can breathe and his flat feet don't make him walk as weird and his back doesn't hurt as much.

Today is not that day.

Bucky heard him when he woke up that morning. How his lungs sound like some big rusty machine that shouldn't work but it does and it might kick the bucket any day now. You can't go out in the cold today Stevie, Bucky tells him, today isn't a good day.

They still need money when it's not a good day Steve would retort back. Bucky sighs but doesn't try to control him. Just wear a jacket alright? Bucky asks as he goes out the door to wherever he's been getting money when he's not working at the docks.

Steve relents and wears a jacket.

It's cold and he can't breathe but he's used to it.

 

 

It's cold and he's not used to it.

It's Germany and it's snowing. Morita ignores him as he puffs a cigarette. He's a pretty silent guy, but easy to work with. A bit opposite of Dum Dum, who's loud and brash and his opposite. Steve isn't actually all that surprised that they fit alongside each other. Dum Dum talks for him and Morita never takes his shit.

White flakes fall and they stick to the ground but melt on him. He seems to be his own heat source now. It'll save on rent if he gets home.

When he gets home. If he gets home.

Jones comes out and relieves Morita from watch, then takes his place. As a captain he shouldn't pick favorites, but he does because he still remembers the days when his classmates wouldn't talk to him aside from polite conversations, and sometimes not even that, and Jones was the first one to really talk to him in the group. Steve considers them all his greatest friends by now but Jones was the first one he considered a Real Friend after Bucky.

Jones smiled. I told you pretty much everything I did in my college days but I don't think you've graced me with any stories about you being in Fancy Art School.

It's cold and he's not used to it but the company is nice.

 

 

It's cold. He never thought it could be this cold.

They're has to be another way she says. He says there isn't without really thinking. She makes plans for them to go dancing at the Stork Club. He crashes into the water and ice. He doesn't hear her ask for him by name.

He's blast back by the impact. The water rushes around him. It's so cold. He's gotten used to many different types of cold and he'll get used to this one.

It's cold and he embraces it.

 

 

It's cold and he can't stand it.

It's 2012 and he's in an apartment SHIELD gave him. He shouldn't be in any apartment. He crashed into ice and water and stayed there for 70 years but now he has an apartment. He's trying to get used to the idea.

It's not nearly as cold in that moment as any other time in his life, just the air-conditioning. But he suddenly remembers all those moments.

He hasn't had trouble breathing since the experiment but he can't breathe. He half expects to see his mother bring out the humidifier or Bucky to wrap his arms around him or Sister Catherine the schoolteacher to call the nurse and he knows none will come but he expects one of them and he doesn't know which one.

It's all going to be okay his mother says.

Just copy my breathing Bucky says.

Don't crowd around him! Give him room to breathe Sister Catherine says.

They're all talking in his mind but he can't hear them.

It's cold and he turns off the air-conditioning after an hour.

 

 

It's cold but he doesn't want to be a bother.

It's Sam's car and he's driving. They're somewhere in Georgia. They past by another McDonalds.

Steve dragged him along on a wild goose chase looking for Bucky five months ago. Somewhere along the line that ended without either of them getting out of the car. Sam insists on showing Steve the largest ball of twine in the country.

The air is on and is blowing cold air. Steve already moved it so it wasn't blowing in his face. He starts to lose feeling in his toes. He tries to sleep.

The window is also cold as it presses against his face. It feels colder by the second. It reminds him of ice. He's tense, can't sleep. Everything is cold but he doesn't want to be a bother and this is Sam's car where Sam is doing a favor for Steve and Sam is and Sam is and Sam -

I'm getting a little cold Sam says and he turns off the cold air. With another click warm air starts blowing at Steve's feet. He relaxes.

It's not so cold anymore and he's grateful.

 

 

He's cold but Steve can fix it.

He's shivering and standing in the rain but he came to Steve and that's all that matters. He has a metal arm but he's alive. His hair is longer and unclean but he has soap.

I remember Bucky tells him after Steve wraps him in a blanket.

Your mother's name was Sarah and mine was Winnie and they were friends he says when Steve tries to feed him.

You threw rocks at Thomas when we were eight and he called me a kike he says as Steve washes his hair.

You had a crush on Mary in our math class and Alfie who lived across the hall at the same time and you never told me but I knew and it freaked you out he says as Steve tries to get him out of his wet clothes.

I never told you that I was jealous of both of them and I don't know if you knew he says as Steve finally gets him out of his wet clothes.

It's warm and they fall asleep together.


End file.
